PSYCHOLOGY OF TEACHING AND LEARNING :: Goleman's Theory Of Emotional Intelligence.

The history of emotional intelligence

An IQ test is a psychological measure of a person’s “intelligence quotient” (IQ). For decades, researchers have studied the reasons why a high IQ does not necessarily guarantee success in the classroom or the boardroom. 

By the 1980s, psychologists and biologists, among others, were focusing on the important role other skill sets, which are needed to process emotional information and which are played in promoting worldly success, leadership, ownership, personal fulfillment, healthy and happy relationships.

In 1990, psychologists John Mayer and Peter Salovey of Yale theorized that a unitary intelligence underlay those other skill sets. They coined the term, Emotional Intelligence, to describe a person's ability to understand his/her own emotions. The emotions of others and act appropriately based on these emotions. Thus the skill emotional intelligence, which they broke down into four “branches” as:

1. Identifying emotions on a nonverbal level.

2. Using emotions to guide cognitive thinking.

3. Understanding the information emotions convey and the actions emotions generate.

4. Regulating one’s own emotions, for personal benefit and for the common good.

Later in 1995, Daniel Goleman a journalist, Harvard University professor popularized the term in his book, "Emotional Intelligence: Why it matters more than IQ?" He believes that people with high IQ might not necessarily be successful and a theory that true intelligence is a combination of both IQ and EQ. 

"Daniel Goleman, 1998: Emotional Intelligence refers to the capacity of recognizing our own feelings and those of others for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions well in us and in our relationships."

Importance of Emotional Intelligence:

Emotional Intelligence allows us to think more creatively and use our emotions to solve problems. Daniel Goleman believes EQ to be an important set of psychological abilities that relates to life's success. It is empathy and communication skills as well as social and leadership skills those together acts for the success in life and personal relationships. Rather than IQ, Goleman proposes for high E-IQ, if we want to have a high value in the society.

 Daniel Goleman argues that man particularly need to develop emotional skills and he gives a huge number of examples where people were not successful due to lack of EQ. EQ helps us to have a profound relation with fellow workers, family, friends etc. Those who use EQ are more successful as they persist in the face of setback and channel their emotional energies towards achieving the goals.

  

The Five Domains of EQ: Goleman's Theory 

As a science reporter for the New York Times, Goleman was exposed to Mayer’s and Salovey’s work and took the concept of emotional intelligence a step further. Goleman broadened Mayer’s and Salovey’s four-branch system to incorporate five essential elements of emotional intelligence or EQ:

1. Emotional self-awareness — knowing what one is feeling at any given time and understanding the impact those moods have on others.

2. Self-regulation — controlling or redirecting one’s emotions; anticipating consequences before acting on impulse.

3. Motivation — utilizing emotional factors to achieve goals, enjoys the learning process and perseveres in the face of obstacles.

4. Empathy — sensing the emotions of others.

5. Social skills — managing relationships, inspiring others and inducing desired responses from them.

Based on the theory the characteristics of high IQ and EQ persons can be distinguished.

If you think emotional intelligence is only important for those who always have to interact or communicate with people, we need to think about it again. Emotional intelligence is a doorway to a balanced-life. 

Physical Health – We live in an extremely bust and stressful life. The ability to take care of our bodies and especially to manage our stress, which has an incredible impact on our overall and total wellness, is heavily connected to our emotional intelligence. Only by being aware of our emotional state and our reactions to stress in our lives can we hope to manage stress and maintain good health.

Mental Well-Being – Emotional intelligence affects our attitude, our behaviour and outlook on life. It can also help to alleviate anxiety and avoid depression and control mood swings. A high level of emotional intelligence directly correlates to a positive attitude and happier outlook on life.

Conflict Resolution – We live in a world where we have started reacting more than understanding. We just want to believe in what we feel is the right and ending up with mere conclusions rather than understanding it thoroughly for more betterment. If we try to present our perception, people just think from their point of view and mistake you for no reason. When we can discern people’s emotions and empathize with their perspective, it’s much easier to resolve conflicts or possibly avoid them before they start. It neither mean we are proving ourselves wrong even thought if we are right, nor it mean we are accepting the other person. We are just trying to calm down the situation and the conflict that might pop up. By using emotional intelligence, we are now better at negotiation due to the very nature of our ability to understand the needs and desires of others. It’s easier to give people what they want if we can perceive what it is. 

Relationships – Relationships are nothing but adjustments. We cannot live together, if we just want ourselves as a priority. By better understanding and managing our emotions, we are better able to communicate our feelings in a more constructive and connective way. We are also better able to understand and relate to others. We can easily connect to people by understanding the needs, feelings, and responses of those we care about and this will lead to stronger and more fulfilling relationships. Minor adjustments in daily life can lead life to wonderful existence.

Success – Success is not a place or a destination. It is being able to go to bed each night with your soul in peace. Life is too short. We need to work by giving priority not to money or luxury rather our existence together on this planet. That is the real success. Higher emotional intelligence helps us to be stronger internal motivators, which can reduce procrastination, increase self-confidence, and improve our ability to focus on a goal. It also allows us to create better networks of support, overcome setbacks, and persevere with a more resilient outlook. Our ability to delay gratification and see the long-term directly affects our ability to succeed.

Leadership – Leadership is not a position, it is working together in a group without expecting position. Leadership is about creating leaders. The ability to understand what motivates others, relate in a positive manner, and to build stronger bonds with others in the workplace inevitably makes those with higher emotional intelligence better leaders. An effective leader can recognize what the needs of his people are, so that those needs can be met in a way that encourages higher performance and workplace satisfaction. An emotionally savvy and intelligent leader is also able to build stronger teams by strategically utilizing the emotional diversity of their team members to benefit the team as a whole. Leadership is victory of thousand of donkeys lead by a lion by defeating thousand of lion lead by a donkey.

Emotional intelligence is still not completely understood, but what we do know is that emotions play a very critical role in the overall quality of our personal and professional lives, more critical even than our actual measure of brain intelligence or the IQ. While tools and technology can help us to learn and master information, nothing can replace our ability to learn, manage, and master our emotions and the emotions of those around us. For bringing the right change in the society, the change must begin from you!!

Life can prosper when we take up the good and learn continuously for betterment. We live in a fast changing life, where we need to adjust with the society. We need to spread ourselves like the roots of a tree, ready to observe water and minerals; ready to grow and prosper. It is very easy to react and cause a conflict, but the fact is in understanding and resolving the situation thereby balancing the energy. The Universal law of energy conservation talks about the fact that energy cannot be created nor can be destroyed rather can be changed into different forms. We can change the reaction by converting it into a better response. It means that we should not hold the energy in us for long rather talk and resolve it for better peace. Everyone around has their own limits and self respect, people tend to be happier when their emotional needs are also met.    

"Emotional intelligence is not something inborn; there are ways to take control of your emotions."

It’s never too late to learn anything, so no matter how old you are, you can still take up EQ and make the rest of your life better and happier.

Observe and understand your feelings.

We easily lose touch with our emotions when we’re too busy worrying about what to do next and what can be done better. Instead of really taking good care of our emotions, we choose to ignore them most of the time. What we don’t realize is that suppressing our emotions only makes things worse. The more we try to put our emotions behind, the more uncontrollable our emotions become.

When we have an emotional reaction to something, it can be due to the fact that we’re having some unsolved issues. So next time when you feel like having some negative emotions, calm down and think about why you’re experiencing this. Take a deep breath and write down the emotions you’re experiencing and the possible reasons.

When you have things written down, you can identify your emotions triggers and think of ways to deal with each of them. Finally as a individual, our happiness is a must.

Practice responding, not reacting.

Reacting is an unconscious process where we behave in an unconscious way that expresses or relieves an emotion. Responding is a conscious process that involves paying attention to your feelings and deciding how to behave.

When you’re more aware of your emotional triggers, you can always think about the way to behave in advance.

For example, if you know that you get angry easily and throw temper to colleagues when you’re feeling very stressful at work, take note of that and think about what you can do next time when you’re experiencing the same trigger. Maybe you can try to tell your colleagues that you need some silent moments because you’re feeling stressful at the moment, or maybe you can get a few minutes of alone time just to calm down yourself first.

At times people understand you from their perception and may think wrong about you. We just need to avoid what people think about you with a smile rather than a reaction. You are a better judge. Train your mind to be calm always and let go the people who think wrong about you. What people think about you is not your problem, today they might say wrong about you but someday they will know the reality. Work upon you for your continuous growth. God falls in love with a stubborn heart who fights continuously with a dedicated heart.

Stay humble all the times.

We were born on this earth. Those who stay connected with mother earth will reach to the best point in life. When you always believe that you’re better than others, you’ll not see your own faults, and you’ll likely to get emotional about things that don’t meet your expectation. Learning is about emptying what you know. We need to be life a sponge, ready to percolate in good things. Until or unless you empty your mind, you won’t be able to be a good learner. Learn from everyone, everything can teach you something. Finally execute the best of learning in your life to achieve your goals.

Try to look at the same thing from a different perspective. Stop judging people, the more you judge them, the more you will increase the gaps. Instead of judging someone or something, put yourself in someone else’s shoes and try to think or feel like them: would you do or feel the same too and why? In this way, you’re likely to understand other people’s thoughts and emotions more; and you’ll probably learn something new about how to deal with stuff in similar situations too. This will prove you to be a better human and a better leader. Anyone can be a leader; it’s not about a position. It is about leading life, it might not give you money or luxury rather it will make you an ethical person in this world. People will get attracted towards you and will like your presence. 

Be humble enough to know you’re not better than anyone, and wise enough to know that you’re different from the rest! Being unique and special and different from others is the need of the hour. Emotional intelligence can be learned, it’s a lifetime process.

It’s never too late to learn anything; it just takes continuous observation and practice. So no matter how old you are, you can still take up EQ and make the rest of your life better and happier. 

Children are the real asset and they are continuously observing us. We need to change the society and the change will happen if we change from in. “Be the change you want to see in others” is the need of the hour. We need to engineer ourselves, if we need the world to change. Be authentic and natural. Take ownership and always keep a back up of what you learnt, during difficult situations. Appreciate even the small things around you. Be your own guide and be a motivator. Children need more of life lessons than the stories from a story book.